Balance the Scales

At the beginning of the year I said that I wanted to make 3 goals to reach by year-end.  You can read more about that here (click the word ‘here’).  We are now almost a month in and I am proud to say that I am making some progress on at least one of those goals–to find more balance.  As a matter of fact, today’s post will be on the shorter side because I am writing this while on vacation.

Over the years, I have found that the scales that balance my career/business side of my life and the personal/relationship side of my life are never in balance together.  If things are going well and less stressful on the career/business side, all Hell is breaking loose in my personal life.  If things on the personal side of my life are doing well, fires are consuming everything in sight on the career/business side.  I can never get the two to balance together.

Because I like to hyper analyze things and approach everything like a puzzle, I’ve been trying to take an introspective approach and look at what is in balance the most.  I figure if I can tackle balancing things on the ‘weaker’ side, I may be able to better balance the two together.

The weaker side is my personal life.

With my personal life I am guilty of not keeping and fostering relationships with friends, family and significant others.  I’m also guilty of not taking enough time out for myself.  I often feel that I’m not good at balancing the needs of others and my own needs.  I suck.  I think I’m socially under developed and on a personal level, I operate in an isolated silo.

That’s not a good thing.

I recently came across a podcast episode that featured Rob Scott (@rob_scott) on identity shifting.  In it, he talked about changing behaviors and mindsets by changing the lens that we view ourselves through.  If I continue to view myself as sucky and under developed socially, I will probably remain that way…in spite of trying to not be that way.  I have to first believe and see myself as something different.  The way I want to be.

Of course I have to actually put some actions with this change in thinking and view point, but it’s something that I think is worth me trying to do.  I see it as being similar to cognitive behavioral techniques and therapy used to help people that suffer from anxiety disorders.  The way they work is to get the person to change the way they think and feel about a trigger for their anxiety.  The initial thoughts and feelings that bring on the anxiety when the trigger is encountered are replaced with a different way of thinking and feeling about and towards the trigger.  In time, a person does not have to work as hard at replacing the thoughts and feelings and the anxiety attacks become less frequent or non-existent when exposed to the trigger.

This is something I have decided to give a try.  If you get a chance, check out Rob Scott and the podcast I heard him on here:  http://colleeneakns.me/1Ua2jev

Now, back to vacation!